Aside from being a sort of broad mission statement about my life, open marriage is the space in which I learn so much about who I am, what I am made of, and what I truly want. It's a playground for my desires to run free and eventually shake loose certain unmistakable truths.
I'm learning to understand the difference between a fast burn and a slow unfolding. Both have importance and merit, but are means to different ends and exist at different depths. I have the opportunity to explore it all. That is the gift - a free-fall into the unknown with a soft place to land.
Some days it's hard to be so open to vulnerability all the time, but it is also the only way my life seems to make sense - to be committed to being fully awake and alive. The price of freedom in this spiritual sense is in feeling and allowing all the feels... the joy, the heartbreak, the fear, the wonder, the exhilaration, the jealousy, the uncertainty, the passion, the fragility, and the wild tempest inside it all.
YES to every last drop.
No to holding back, to numbing out, to shutting down.
Open is sacred.
Open, is the world I've created, the truth I value, and the life I have chosen.
So, in the moments when the practice of being open feels really hard, when I want to curl my wings in and pull back into the shadows, I have to remind myself of these lessons.
Staying open is the only way I fly.