When I stop living in fear that LOVE is finite, that it's in any way quantifiable or measurable... everything becomes infinitely possible.
It's a hard thing to articulate without sounding oddly religious or preachy, but maybe that's part of the realization too. That love is truly my faith.
I'll try to explain what I believe to be true, so far...
The lesson in love begins with our family, then our friends, then our partners. From being born into unconditional receiving, to the addition of so many variables and conditions... so it seems. When sex and romance get thrown into the mix it makes everything feel so much more complicated. The sex gets intertwined with how we experience love and rearranges our definitions of intimacy.
Intimacy is just the way in. Intimacy is the pathway of vulnerability which can be explored by many different means... the mind, body, or spirit. Vulnerability is love.
But we are taught that LOVE is the destination, the pinnacle, a place where we will eventually arrive and find happily ever after. But the truth is, real intimacy always leads us back to ourselves, to the wild womb of self truth, our highest calling of love and what truly matters.
The idea that love is ultimately found outside of ourselves breeds a sense of scarcity that creates room for fear to creep in... that there is one best love, one soul mate, one perfect partner for the rest of your life, and that one kind of love might be better, greater than another. Love doesn't feel like the all-you-can-eat feast that it is, it seems more like a winning lottery ticket. Add the mythology of a broken heart, that without partnered love we are somehow imperfect, we forget our inherent wholeness.
We forget that our worth is not determined by others.
Really, love is not about sex or any kind of commodity, weight or measure that we may try to attach to it. Love is unconditional, weightless, never-ending. Love is our birthright.
Motherhood might serve to to remind us how it works and what is possible. That we can love more than one human, more than one child, and that while love can be wildly personal and individualized it has no limit. There are no boundaries. The heart expands, if you simply allow it. More babies, more love. Bam, just like that.
So, this is what my life is trying to teach me again and again, in my friendships, in my open marriage, as a mother, daughter and so on... Love in and of itself, is limitless. It's about relationships and connections of every variety that are fundamentally expansive and all-inclusive. There is always enough love to hold it all.
The greater lesson, then?
The greater lesson, then?
Love is simply my life's infinite potential.
This is my lightening, my freedom, my wild YES in every direction. It is how I walk with fear and the messiness of all the hard emotions that come with along with allowing and living completely wide open.
I wildly trust in LOVE.