Rather, it's a journey of a million steps, as I am learning. I sing this tune a lot.
For me, being out is about so many different things.... it's naming it and claiming it, it's being willing to share the narrative, it's embracing non-fear/shame based living. But it's also about being mindful and strategic and safe, especially as a mom of two young boys.
I think I struggle most with dealing with the discomfort of others. Having some sense of control over where and what I share has been critical, and giving other people the option to not have to know the intimate details has sort of been my way thus far. But I'm not exactly sure what I'm truly modulating.
The most tender details of my journey have been met with, "you go, girl!" and "thank you", and "me too", so why does it sometimes feel so impossibly BIG to be in these conversations?
Holding space through my own vulnerability is tricky.
I'm ready to have all the conversations, and I am having these conversations in some circles. I'm writing and teaching and cheering on the sexual freedom in general. So does keeping some things contained help or hinder my freedom? This is what I'm currently mulling over.
The forward momentum of my life seems to dictate where I need to go, and so maybe I just need to honor that. So, here is my next step...
If you are local to the MA/NH area, I am proudly teaching my first sex-pos, kinky class with an awesome co-creatrix! If you're curious about the 's' side of D/s, you can join us for a day of exploration through classic archetypes and some sexy art making. It's going to be a delicious program, and I'm thrilled honored to be dipping my toe into this new teaching territory.
Message me for all the deets!
Or maybe I'll just trow the link up on my page.... who knows? It's all a work in progress.
In the immortal words of my wise 6 year old, when all is crazygood and so much more.... it was epic! I'm touched over and over again by the magic inside this gathering and the time I get to spend with 150 amazing and gorgeous souls by this mystical lake. There is nothing like being with your kindreds, face to face, in shared devotion to creativity and love. There's also a certain wisdom in these waters - the wild sensation of deeply letting go, inhabiting the present, and a kind of gratitude and spiritual connection I can't really put into words. It is down to the bone and grace in action, for sure. Every time I return here I am made new, again and again.
In the end, I always feel a bit at a loss for words. I am grateful and overflowing and in awe of all the joy and beautiful connecting.
Centered around making your own one-of-a-kind Alchemy Deck, in each circle you will be guided with stirring prompts and easy how-to's to infuse each of your cards with insight and deep personal meaning. You will also learn ways to use these cards as a powerful tool in your creative life and work. Best of all, you'll be able to call upon this deck over and over again to conjure inspired clarity and sparks of wisdom whenever you need it most.
NEWfor this next round of Earth and the energy of grounding and gathering...
* daily videos and card notes *
* creating and tending your sacred Earth Alter *
*new ways to use your cards and customize this work for what you most need *
These cards are magic... part works of art and part sacred love story.
To see a glimpse of gorgeous Alchemy Cards created in previous circles, look here, or find them on Instagram under the hashtag #alchemycards.
As always, our circle will be guided by fierce magic-makers!
>---> new wild ways into getting messy in creative inspirationadding a rich dose of core creativity to each day.
>--->developing a simple yet powerful creative practice that is rooted in playful possibility and wild and messy inner exploration.
>--->fierce guides to support you in wise conversations with your own truth allowing you to dig deeper into the magic you already posses.
>--->connections with kindred community in an encouraging and inspiring sacred circle.
These tools will be our way into our wild Inner Alchemy:
* Creating your own Earth Alchemy Deck(28 cards) with daily videos and easy how-to's.
* 12 gorgeous Guides, offering up their own brand of alchemical badassery! * Alter making and sacred space clearing in the element of Earth.
* Fun ways to utilize your cards and integrate them into your creative work and life.
* Custom Made Alchemy Kit exclusively available to workshop participants for an added infusion of Earth. For sale in my Etsy shopbefore the start of each class.
* Private site and Facebook page for gathering and group discussion, where you can safely dive into meaningful work at your own pace, make new connections, share the cards you make, and receive all the beautiful energy of our Inner Alchemy Circle Coven.
I am inside of the sacred container of my own work with 60 other wild women. I can feel how this new devotion and rhythm will have a certain velocity in my life, both a challenge and a gift, buoyant and grounding, full of grit as well as grace.
It is in these dualities that it all happens. Must be all the new kitty spirit magic working in my world, and our little Luna kitten bringing lessons in shadow and light.
And so this is color story I've fallen into for autumn! Rich, dark, decadent. These cards called to me in this complex place I am in, wild with heavy emotion and ripe with powerful possibility, a duality I am trying to work through for sure.
Loyalty, Trust, Courage.... are the themes showing up, and what I am grounding in to carry me through this month that is proving to be a mad tumble of life in extremes. It's when I forget my power that I lose my way, so today these are my reminders.
Our castle exploring took us inside the imagination of one man's passion, and was a gateway into our own places of awe and discovery as we envisioned what it must have been like to live inside these walls.....
Focusing on aligned choices, spiritual connection, purification and cleansing, serendipities with nature and the elements and all that is mystical, this Full Moon is a ripe one.
I've certainly felt the pull to clean and organize, ground and connect, and before reading about this weekend's lunar forecast I had just cleaned and organized my studio, threw all the bed linens into the wash, and opened all the windows to let in the fresh fallish air. Truly, this morning has felt like a revelation.
While we've been enjoying the last of summer's sweetness, the shift to autumn has begun. New year energy. A new school for my oldest. Brand new soul-offering almost ready to begin.
In the spirit of all the grace and gratitude in response to this Wish Alchemists Circle, I have decide to offer a few Sacred Scholarships to fill this circle. So, if you are YES to the desire inside of your own life and wish to commit the better part of this next school year to dream excavation and the work of truth and dare, send me a letter speaking to your why. I'd love nothing more than to wave my magic wand and make this happen for you (limited scholarships will be granted on an as-needed basis). Let's be all-in together!
And if your heart is set on making more Alchemy Cards, the fall round will be open for registration next week! Our Earth Guides are gorgeously grounded and so so wise, and I can't wait to share with you who will be offering up their magic to you. In the meantime I've begun gathering up all the yummy bits for Earth Alchemy Kits, which is a creative process that makes me so darn giddy. This time I even have an extra special treat for you, created by an extra special co-inspirer (squee!).
So, here's to releasing into all there is to come! All the goodness. All the magic. All the connection.
I always need a safe container. This is true for all of my work, whether it be within my day to day schedule, devotion to my writing and other practices, or the physical presence of my studio table that is always ready for my creative projects. With this new way of eating, it's been finding freedom inside of 1480. Calories that is. That is the healthful number I was given to begin with. What I wanted to do differently this time was to make space for healthy food choices that were not an act of defiant depravation, but rather a fierce kind of listening and honoring of my body. True nourishment. And what I found was that inside of this magic number, there was plenty, spaciousness, abundance and...freedom!
This awareness has made all the difference, being able to choose how I eat while staying close to love in every bite. No guilt. No pressure. All grace.
Here's what I've learned thus far: * Eating intuitively is where it's at.I don't prescribe to any kind of Plan. I've tried it all before, gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, meat free, Atkins, the Master Cleanse.... I have done it all in the name of dieting. I'm done with that. When I eat more intuitively, my nutrition is generally pretty balanced as well as light on excess bad stuff. My body tends to crave what it needs, if I listen. If I really truly listen.
* I really need to watch my portions. Coming from a feast on life, sort of point of view where I'd sample from the buffet heartily and with abandon, this is a big shift for me. Smaller, beautiful plates are what I try to create. * It took a while for me to learn my body's real cues.... like what hunger really felt like, and being full enough, to sense a need vs. a craving especially before my cycle. I try not to be too black and white about it, too all or nothing. That is not a sustainable way to go. Often a bite or two of something decadent, will satisfy.
* My sugar, carb, salt story was way off. Sweets have never been my thing, but I had fallen into that crazy routine of eating a meal and then craving dessert. I can tell now that was a blood sugar thing, that over-eating led to more cravings. I'm not a dessert girl. Salt is another story, and something I need to keep my eye on.
* My body yearns to stretch and move. I often would ignore the urges and tell myself I am too tired or didn't have enough time. Now I listen. When I'm yearning for yoga, I roll out my matt. When I need to burn, I go for a walk. And my body is stronger and wiser than I ever gave it credit for. It wants to be challenged.
* I love fresh. Canned or processed foods make my body sad. I can tell even at restaurants when things are not made from real food. Even though a lot of this stuff "tastes" good, they don't make my body feel very good.
* I've had to make the
changes slowly. I downloaded the app that would serve as my guidepost in January, but let myself off the
hook until I really felt ready, which wasn't until May. I began on a random day, not the first of the
month so it didn't feel like A Plan. I started when I felt committed and ready. It was a Tuesday. Momentous none the less.
* I don't weigh myself very often. I'm not married to a number so much as I am gauging how I feel inside my own skin. I can tell by how my clothes fit, and tossing away the bigger clothes has been it's own sort of sweet hallelujah! I've begun to clean out my closet and have made a pact with myself to not own anything that doesn't fit me, right now - no secret stash of "someday" clothes. Only sacred adornments that make me feel gooood, today. * I don't judge or bash my food choices. I used to eat with a lot of guilt. Now I treat myself with kindness. I am not what I eat, I am more clearly reflected in the choices I make.... the how and why behind the food. As long as I am mindful about the choices, I feel like I am honoring the process and don't sweat the occasional indulgence. * I have to have a fall-back plan. On the days that are really hard, I don't focus on what I am not able to do. Rather, I find one thing that I can do and I celebrate the heck out of that, like eat a plate of greens, do a few sun salutations, drink lots of water. Something simple that is my ace in the hole no matter what. Forward progress by baby stepping, every damn day. * I need to be committed to where I am in the present, while also having my eye on the bigger picture. In other words, I have to honor the slow and steady progress and the fact this is not a transition that happens over night. There is a commitment and wisdom that is greater than what I see happening from day to day.
And I haven’t
The gap between how I feel on the inside and how I want to feel on the outside, is narrowing. I'm chasing that feeling more than an end result.
My body has kept me from doing things I want to do, and I am SO done with allowing that to be true. With a lighter constitution, new dreams and wishes are emerging and all the shedding has held important lessons I'm working through as they come up. It’s been a physical letting go for sure, but there also has been an unexpected emotional component as well. It's years of internal heaviness and weight that I have become so accustomed to holding onto and carrying, and as the ounces fall away there has been both mourning and celebration inside of this transition. A recalibration of the highest order.
But the realignment is truly happening, and I am grateful for the healing it's taken me to get to this place: joyous and wild and heartbreakingly true.... that is where I live my very best life.
"Powerful women sometimes take decades to recognize that they are straight-up sorcerers."
It began with an intense longing.
For what? I'm not exactly sure. My entry point, way back then, was a shiny new blogging community and the undeniable tug of creative expression.
It was a way to finally hear my own voice.
What I found in the wake of a feverish devotion to these unnamed desires, the constant pull towards a surprise ending I never could have expected, was that it all began and ended with my own true heart. These core truths have held the most powerful and profound answers to every one of my burning questions.
It wasn't a thing I had been wishing for, or even an experience or certain kind of success. That's only what it looked like from the outside. Now, having walked through the fire year after year, on the other side is not perfection or some pinnacle of life, it is a greater view of the entire landscape and all the peaks and valleys of where I've been and where I wish to go - it is seeing myself for who I truly am.
A commitment to this kind of truth always reveals the answers, and these answers propel us forward with fierce velocity.
So, I often get asked how I make stuff happen in my life. What are the nuts and bolts, the behind-the-scenes steps and missteps, the wisdom inside of repeatedly baring my heart in search of abundance, connection and light? More specifically, how do I manifest my soul wishes and dreams in the midst of motherhood, wildly open and connected relationships, and running a heart-centered business I love?
I can tell you with utmost honesty, I do not have all the answers for you.
But I can also tell you with unwavering certainty... you hold all those answers within - and you have to trust yourself deeply to find them. And I can absolutely help guide you there. Wish Alchemy is real. I know this only because my life today is living proof of this wild and sacred magic. By giving over to my own true desires, big and small, one after the next, I learned how to bring them to reality and create the life I wanted.
Ten years as a Wish Alchemist, I am now able to feel the rhythm of this soul-work and how to guide my creative energy from one season, one year to the next, in a way that serves my greatest potential and biggest dreams. It's an organic, living process of experience and evolution. It's imperfect, messy, honest, and real.
This is what I want to share with you...what it's all been leading up to. We will walk the path together and come out the other side changed in beautiful and extraordinary ways.
Wish Alchemists Circle (online, with optional in-person gatherings) is the wisdom of 10 years of deeply personal work offered to you in one inspired and sacred container of creativity, guidance, truth, desire, community and love.
My approach is very much, truth AND dare ----> fierce compassion and safety, grounded in wild honesty that works to serve our forward progress. This is the momentum constantly at work in my own life. I will show you how to make it a part of yours (even in those tender places).
September 1, 2015 - June 1, 2016 ...we journey together
Because it takes time to unearth your truest values, practice vulnerability,
and begin to trust your innermost strength and magic!
This circle is an investment in your wildest wishes and spirit-warrior self
* there will only be 100 spots available *
Because intimate is how I roll and how I love to hold space. I want to be all-in with you.
As a Wish Alchemist, these will be your sacred tools and offerings:
* An immersive and interactive online experience on our private site and blog, where all the content will be waiting for you as we go (no need compile and save another folder of emails).
* 3 Seasonal, invitation only, Wish Alchemists gatherings on Plum Island, MA, a magical place and wildlife sanctuary, for those who are longing for more sacred in-person experiences. (Oct. 8, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016 - and spring date TBA)
* Monthly, Wish Alchemy guided videos, for direction, insight and storytelling around the rhythm of the creative cycle and year (with an additional bonus look into July and August!). Discussions will be multifaceted and holistic touching on daring self care and embodied living, finding our boundaries and edges, fierce communication, authentic creativity and sexuality, sacred containers, intimacy and devotion, beautiful business, honoring the ebb and flow, and more.
* Monthly, Alchemy Lab creative mini-workshops, for playful exploration around core aspects of each months work. No art experience required, just a willingness to get a little bold and messy as there is something in the kinesthetic process of making that shakes loose new magic! We will scribble, tear paper, play with words, paint, and, of course, make a few Alchemy Cards.
* Private virtual gathering space for monthly goal setting and live chats on Facebook, helping us to dive deeper with connections, resources and all soul work in our circle. Live chats will be scheduled once per month, open to your specific questions and feedback.
* Moon cycle Inner Alchemy Card draws. On each New Moon and Full Moon I will draw and share an Inner Alchemy Card pull for you to muse upon, a practice that continues to help guide me throughout the year.
* A go at your own pace format, where you choose your own adventure and take only the wisdom and work that serves you. September to June will fly.
You will soon feel the rhythm of each month like the air you breathe... organic, powerful, sustainable, where gentle shifts can occur and wishes do come true.
This circle is for YOU, if you
...are in need of a place to begin.
...are further along on your path, but are seeking more integration, alignment and freedom.
...enjoy a combined holistic approach of grounded and practical, intuitive and spiritual.
...are searching for clarity around your own true rhythms, desires, practices, and soul-answers.
...need a platform to safely set goals and seek kind encouragement and accountability.
...crave connection with others who are on a similar path of true-living.
...are ready to play with vulnerability in order to manifest wild transformation!
Wish Alchemists Circle
$35 mo. for 10 months (auto-billed monthly)
$298 for the complete year (save $52)
* Note: registrations are processed personally, by hand (not by computer) so may take up to 24hrs. I am so glad you've said YES!