Oct 13, 2015

year sixteen

It was a good and steady year, for the most part.

And by steady I mean there were no irreconcilable differences, no major relationship drama, nothing insurmountable that came across our path, thankfully. It was a year marked by a lot of slow sinking in after all the fast and furious of the last several trips around the sun. A certain sturdy comfort, playfulness and ease has washed in.

We've arrived in this place that is markedly our own and are enjoying the happiness of just being together, connected and on the same page more so than not. It feels like bliss in those moments we can steal away and really process how far we have come. We see it in each other. We see it in the landscape of our life, as parents, in our work, and in the conversations we are having with others. We see it in the future that we both feel so lucky to have in front of us.

Our openness has shifted a bit this year. It became more nuanced, more fundamental within the simple truth of our deepest values of freedom. Freedom to be who we are. Freedom to feel what we feel, and want what we want. Freedom to allow the other to seek joy. This is what deeply connects us, ultimately - sharing in each others happiness, and not needing to be responsible for it.

Open marriage means being in the questions together and honoring every experience, every relationship, every ounce of happiness and pleasure that might be found. It's the conversations that are bare and honest, allowing for a closeness and intimacy we never had before. Sex is such small part of this equation outside our marriage. Practically nonexistent. That's not where the openness matters. The necessity is in the truth and the trust. It begins and ends there.

Things are far from perfect. We fight sometimes, passion in equal and opposite measure of shadow and light, but it's rare that we fundamentally disagree, more a clash of circumstance or energy. And we talk about the hard stuff. Even if it takes a few months to get there, we are committed to communicating about everything. It means nothing gets swept under the rug to fester for too long which makes our relationship really strong, even when one of us is feeling weak. We can be distant and not even like each other in the moment, but we know we will always find our way back which is a critical part of the freedom too, to allow each other such raw vulnerability.

To be imperfect in such profound ways and know that you are still deeply loved.

Perhaps that is everything.

It's all we truly need.

This is where we are at the end of year sixteen. It's a beautiful place to be.

Oct 6, 2015

sexy soul work

On my way to teaching my workshop this weekend, I was very aware of a certain threshold I felt I was about to step over. It seemed like a gateway moment and leaping over some imaginary line of my own teaching, exploring authentic sexuality in the language of paper and paste I've only used for more "vanilla" pursuits. It was a new kind of bravery and reaching outside my comfort zone, yet it was also so natural, familiar, and felt like the logical next step. 

It was integration, validation, and a sort of celebration (at least inside of my happy heart!).

Although the underlying subtext of this particular class may have been different than my usual workshops, the landscape looked and felt very much the same: beautiful humans taking the time and space to dig deep and learn more about their desires - to understand and be understood. The universality of this work never ceases to amaze... the bravery... the yearning... the honesty and soul-searching nature of seeking Truth. 

It is always is alchemy for gold.

The conversation was about history, narrative, experience, mythology, communication and connection. Even in sexuality there are always common threads.

In big and small ways, we simply spent the day rising up.

The lesson inside it all?

Whatever light you're seeking is already burning inside you, and talking about it, creating around it, and gathering inside of it brings us that much closer to it, something I already knew but just had to experience from this different perspective.

Magic is magic.

Truth is truth.

The soul-work is the same inside every circle.

Beautiful, indeed.

How lucky I am to witness it all.

Sep 30, 2015

you are my sunshine

my only sunshine

you make me happy, when skies are gray

you never know dear

how much I love you

please don't take, may sunshine away

Sep 24, 2015

being *out* is not all or nothing

Rather, it's a journey of a million steps, as I am learning. I sing this tune a lot.

For me, being out is about so many different things.... it's naming it and claiming it, it's being willing to share the narrative, it's embracing non-fear/shame based living. But it's also about being mindful and strategic and safe, especially as a mom of two young boys.

I think I struggle most with dealing with the discomfort of others. Having some sense of control over where and what I share has been critical, and giving other people the option to not have to know the intimate details has sort of been my way thus far. But I'm not exactly sure what I'm truly modulating.

The most tender details of my journey have been met with, "you go, girl!" and "thank you", and "me too", so why does it sometimes feel so impossibly BIG to be in these conversations?

Holding space through my own vulnerability is tricky.

I'm ready to have all the conversations, and I am having these conversations in some circles. I'm writing and teaching and cheering on the sexual freedom in general. So does keeping some things contained help or hinder my freedom? This is what I'm currently mulling over.

The forward momentum of my life seems to dictate where I need to go, and so maybe I just need to honor that. So, here is my next step...

If you are local to the MA/NH area, I am proudly teaching my first sex-pos, kinky class with an awesome co-creatrix! If you're curious about the 's' side of D/s, you can join us for a day of exploration through classic archetypes and some sexy art making. It's going to be a delicious program, and I'm thrilled honored to be dipping my toe into this new teaching territory.

Message me for all the deets!

Or maybe I'll just trow the link up on my page.... who knows? It's all a work in progress.

Sep 22, 2015


In the immortal words of my wise 6 year old, when all is crazygood and so much more.... it was epic! I'm touched over and over again by the magic inside this gathering and the time I get to spend with 150 amazing and gorgeous souls by this mystical lake. There is nothing like being with your kindreds, face to face, in shared devotion to creativity and love. There's also a certain wisdom in these waters - the wild sensation of deeply letting go, inhabiting the present, and a kind of gratitude and spiritual connection I can't really put into words. It is down to the bone and grace in action, for sure. Every time I return here I am made new, again and again.

In the end, I always feel a bit at a loss for words. I am grateful and overflowing and in awe of all the joy and beautiful connecting.

Blessed be.

Sep 8, 2015

Inner Alchemy Circle :: Earth Coven

Centered around making your own one-of-a-kind Alchemy Deck, in each circle you will be guided with stirring prompts and easy how-to's to infuse each of your cards with insight and deep personal meaning. You will also learn ways to use these cards as a powerful tool in your creative life and work. Best of all, you'll be able to call upon this deck over and over again to conjure inspired clarity and sparks of wisdom whenever you need it most.

NEW for this next round of Earth and the energy of grounding and gathering...

* daily videos and card notes *

* creating and tending your sacred Earth Alter *

 *new ways to use your cards and customize this work for what you most need *

These cards are magic... part works of art and part sacred love story. 

To see a glimpse of gorgeous Alchemy Cards created in previous circles, look here, or find them on Instagram under the hashtag #alchemycards.

As always, our circle will be guided by fierce magic-makers!

Inner Alchemy Circle :: Earth Coven
an online gathering
October 18-31, 2015


This circle is for YOU if you're longing for... 

>---> new wild ways into getting messy in creative inspiration adding a rich dose of core creativity to each day.

>---> developing a simple yet powerful creative practice that is rooted in playful possibility and wild and messy inner exploration.

>---> fierce guides to support you in wise conversations with your own truth allowing you to dig deeper into the magic you already posses.

>---> connections with kindred community in an encouraging and inspiring sacred circle.

These tools will be our way into our wild Inner Alchemy:

* Creating your own Earth Alchemy Deck (28 cards) with daily videos and easy how-to's. 

12 gorgeous Guides, offering up their own brand of alchemical badassery! 

* Alter making and sacred space clearing in the element of Earth.

* Fun ways to utilize your cards and integrate them into your creative work and life. 

* Custom Made Alchemy Kit exclusively available to workshop participants for an added infusion of Earth. For sale in my Etsy shop before the start of each class.

* Private site and Facebook page for gathering and group discussion, where you can safely dive into meaningful work at your own pace, make new connections, share the cards you make, and receive all the beautiful energy of our Inner Alchemy Circle Coven. 

Inner Alchemy Circle :: Earth Coven


Sep 6, 2015

the courage to make it happen

I am inside of the sacred container of my own work with 60 other wild women. I can feel how this new devotion and rhythm will have a certain velocity in my life, both a challenge and a gift, buoyant and grounding, full of grit as well as grace. 

It is in these dualities that it all happens. Must be all the new kitty spirit magic working in my world, and our little Luna kitten bringing lessons in shadow and light. 

And so this is color story I've fallen into for autumn! Rich, dark, decadent. These cards called to me in this complex place I am in, wild with heavy emotion and ripe with powerful possibility, a duality I am trying to work through for sure.

Loyalty, Trust, Courage.... are the themes showing up, and what I am grounding in to carry me through this month that is proving to be a mad tumble of life in extremes. It's when I forget my power that I lose my way, so today these are my reminders. 

Sep 1, 2015

and so it begins

password: trust

Because we all need support and to be seen and heard in the day to day of our lives and work.

Day one of my Wish Alchemists Circle. A peek inside the history, the narrative, and the place we are about to go.

How we will find our rhythm and our sacred ways, name hidden desires, and claim the wishes that are waiting to be born.

Truth and dare.

If you wish to join us.... there is still time. Registration closes on Friday, September 4th. 

All the information is, here.

Aug 30, 2015

inside of imagination

Our castle exploring took us inside the imagination of one man's passion, and was a gateway into our own places of awe and discovery as we envisioned what it must have been like to live inside these walls.....